Kindness in the delivery room - “Musician to Midwife” Episode 01
As I am recording my first episode of my Podcast “Musician to Midwife”, I am days before starting to go to University again and become a midwife. I am going back to school as a single mom and musician and I had the courage to change professions at the age of 34.
It took three years, three applications and two internships to being accepted at University.
During my first internship in the delivery room, I found myself being able to perfectly fill those emotional gaps that occur in a clinical setting, especially in a major hospital with a Level 1 maternity ward. And I enjoyed it so very much because I naturally knew what to do to comfort the women and also because of the amount of gratefulness I received for doing such small things.
There are a few stories that stuck with me through the years and I would like to share them with you. Also I hope that recording it, I hope for myself to always remember this humanitarian approach that I had as an intern. And I really hope, that I won´t lose this ability when I finally work as a midwife among those challenging conditions in a clinic.
Let´ s beginn with the first story:
Besides working in the delivery room, I was able to join the admission ward for pregnant women right before the delivery room. Women are coming here to schedule doctor´s appointments, getting examined during their pregnancy especially when they are experiencing difficulties such as placenta praevia, diabetes or breech positions etc..
My job here was to call them in, take their vitals, put them on CTG, check their urine and simply organize the waiting room.
And sometimes women have to come back to the delivery room, when they experience postpartal complications such as an infected c-section scar. The waiting room was in the middle of a long corridor which lead to the admission section on the one side and to the delivery room on the other side.
In order to get into the delivery room, one needed to wait at the door to be called in by the midwifes.
So, as I was doing my job organizing my pregant women and their check-ups, I noticed a young mother with a very small baby, she must have been giving birth only days ago. She was sitting there for hours waiting to be re-admitted to the delivery room, her baby in the car seat on the floor. Just waiting.
I finally asked her how I can help her and she told me, she was waiting since hours to get her c-section scar checked. She gave birth 3 days ago. She already rang the bell and was told to wait. I was worried about her and her baby because I noticed that she did not take her newborn out of the car seat for hours and I saw the baby had developed a jaundice and for that reason breastfeeding was even more important.
I also realized that the mother was wearing a hijab and I knew she would not bare her body and breastfeed her baby amongst all those people and men sitting in this waiting room.
And I could not ignore it. So I asked the nurses in admission if I can take her with me to one of the examination rooms where no men are around so she can breastfeed her baby. They happily approved and so I kindly asked her to come with me and that I will let the midwifes in the know where she is, because I knew she was afraid to miss her turn on being called to the delivery room.
She finally sat down in the CTG room, breastfeeding her baby and her eyes were full of gratefulness. I quickly ran to inform the midwife about the situations and of course they were grumpy but I did not care and took full responsibility. I told them to let ME know when it´s her turn and went back to work.
And of course as soon as she finished breastfeeding, the midwifes called her. But this was because I reminded them of her. She was waiting for hours and no one cared about her and her baby. And I don´t want to say it but I am sure it has something to do with her nationality. Racism exists and I can´t ignore it.
But this wasn´t even about racism. It was about kindness and not closing my eyes when someone obviously needs support right in front of me.
Was ist my job to take care of her? Not at all. But what I did, didn´t hinder or affect my tasks. It was nothing for me, but meant the world to her. And we probably saved this little newborn.
The other storie happened on the same day. A young pregnant women came to admission for a doctor´s appointment. She was in tears, holding a medical document that said she had to see a doctor because there were some issues with her pregnancy.
She was told to wait in front of the delivery room and she was not able to calm down.
So I decided to talk to her. I gently asked if I could help her. It turned out, she was from Spain, travelling Germany and did not know the language. And here´ s the thing: MANY midwifes in that very hospital only know German, some of the older ones don´t even speak English. But I did.
So she told me, she already saw a doctor here and was called back because the diagnosed some issus with her pregnancy wihch needed to be checked again. The reason she was so afraid was - as she told me - that she had already lost a baby during a previous pregnancy which explained her panic.
On top of that not being able to understand the medical paper she received and simply being told to wait in a language she doesn´t know, in a country that she is only travelling through, I understood that this was a lot for her.
So what I did, I just gently touched her shoulder and listened.
She quickly calmed down and I assured her that she came to the right place, the doctors will know what to do as they are the best here and that everything is gonna be alright.
When she got into the doctor´s office, she was calm and ready to conversate. I ignored the fact that I was not supposed to work in the delivery room that day and just went there to get a glas of water for her. Because I find, there are a few things that always work when people are overwhelmed: It´s a calming touch, it is listening, a warm blanket or jacket to put on their shoulders and having them drink some water.
Simple.
I did not lose time with taking a few minutes for her. I did not dismiss other patience while helping her. It was small gestures that calmed her down.
Don´t get me wrong. I am very much aware of the huge responsibility and the stress that comes with it especially when you are short staffed and I know it is impossile sometimes to give each and every patient the attention and time they deserve. But I am talking about humanity and kindness, which can take only seconds but mean a lot.
Being a midwife or nurse is hard. But at the same time, it is one of the most beautiful jobs in the world. And we all should be aware of the fact that people who come into a delivery room or an emergency room, they need to be taken care of!
I really hope that I will be able to continue with this mindset as I become a midwife working in the trenches of a clinical setting.
Because I remember the feeling I had after I left the hospital that day. I felt so happy and ready for this kind of job.
Because I know, I have tons of skills, medical knowledge and experience to gain during the following years at the University. But I also know that I already have the big heart it takes to welcoming new little souls. That I don´t need to study. This is a gift.
And that Mamãe, is the beauty of it.
Love
Linda